why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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