i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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