make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
