I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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