I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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