508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
