The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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