I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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