woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
