hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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