Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize