he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
