This is not my ceiling
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
