I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Can you repeat that, but with context?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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