I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
