Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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