wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
