brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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