His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
