You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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