New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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