we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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