Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
