I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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