i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Come see our sink grown plant.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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