Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize