You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
