The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
