then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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