God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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