weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
