I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
