There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
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