Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
