I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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