Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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