just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
