I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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