we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
