My room smells like vodka and shame
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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