ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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