that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
