Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
