I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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