see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
