I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
