Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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