Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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