I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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