So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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