Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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