bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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