I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
