drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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