Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
