I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
