Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
