I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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