it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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