i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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