I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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