The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
