Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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